


Cookies and Crutchie

by Karly_Quinn, Lady_Lala



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, crutchie and cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24156475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karly_Quinn/pseuds/Karly_Quinn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lala/pseuds/Lady_Lala
Summary: Alright, folks, listen up! Jack Kelly here, you may have heard of me, being in the newspaper an' all not too long ago. But this ain't about that! Ya may be wondering what this is about, or ya wouldn't be reading this, an' ill tell ya. It's a story about, well, about cookies, I guess. Cookies and my good friend Crutchie. Two very sweet things, but put them together... let's just say: Cookies + Crutchie = Chaos! You laugh now, but just you read! I promise ya, if you spare only a moment to read this short story, you'll never eat cookies the same way again. So join my boys and me as we strive to protect this world from the Chaos of cookies and Crutchie!
Relationships: Jack Kelly/Katherine Plumber
Kudos: 15





	1. Horror Storys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All My Crutchie Lovers!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=All+My+Crutchie+Lovers%21).



"And rule number..." Jack paused, arm still around Davey's shoulder as he silently counted on his fingers.  
"20!" Elmer called from across the yard.  
"Yeah, rule number 20: Only Albert's allowed to steal Race's cigars, unless you've got a death wish. Got it?"  
Davey frowned, concentrating, "Um... not really," he said hesitantly.  
"No? That's all right, Les here knows the rules, he'll keep you in line. Won't you Les?"  
"Sure thing, Jack! He may be a little slow, but he'll catch on, eventually." Les said, attempting to put an arm around his older brother's shoulders. But Davey was considerably taller, and the smaller boy simply slid off.  
"I am not slow, and when did you learn all 20 rules?" Davey challenged hands on hips. Les drew himself up to his full height and stuck out his chin, "It just comes naturally, I guess."  
"Whatever!" Davey tried to ruffle his younger brother's dark hair, but Les ducked away.  
"Hey, hey, hey! Rule Number 21: Never mess a newsie's hair! It sells more papes this way." Les protested, shielding his head.  
"It's papers, not 'papes,' and what happened to rule number 10? Pity is gold; pull on the heartstrings." Davey countered.  
"It's rule number 5, and the point is to look pitiful, not scruffy. Besides, it really depends on what you have in mind. Pitiful works just fine on the married type. But if its a young and pretty girl you're looking for, best go for the dashing paperboy rout." The young boy replied, knowingly with a wink.  
"For heaven's sake, Les, you're 10!"  
"Eh, he's just jealous cuz you got a date before him." Jack said, punching Davey's shoulder.   
"Am not!" Davey said a little too quickly.  
"Suit yourself." Jack said, shrugging, "Oh, and I nearly forgot! Rule Number 22 (if you're counting Les's hair rule): Keep Crutchie away from the cookies! Very important, understand?"   
"Yeah, ok," Davey chuckled, but Jack's face was dead, serious.  
"You think I'm joking, but just you wait," Jack warned, and looking around, Davey saw that all the other boys were just as grim-faced.  
"You think he's energetic now? Give that boy sugar, and he'll be bouncing off the walls." Specs said solemnly, "Give him a cookie... the world slows down."  
"The world doesn't slow down just because someone ate a cookie, Specs." Davey said, but the boys all gravely shook their heads.  
"Ordinarily no, but this is Crutchie we're talking about," Elmer said, "not just some 15-year-old boy."  
"Um, Crutchie is just a 15-year-old boy." Davey pointed out. This simple statement had quite a reaction. Elmer, who was as unreligious as they came, crossed his chest and looked to heaven. Tumble Boy tumbled from his perch in a tree, and Splasher had to lunge and catch the falling boy. Race spat his cigar. Mush blinked stupidly. Finch slowly backed away. Snipeshooter accidentally released the trigger on his slingshot, hitting Pie-Eater in the back of his head. Boots, Buttons, Bumlets, and Dutchy all had to restrain a struggling Albert. He couldn't seem to decide whether to slug Davey or the laughing Kid Blink. Dutchy tried to calm him, saying things like, "Have mercy! Mercy! Forgive his ignorance, he knows not what he says!" at the same time franticly mouthing to a confused Davey to apologize.  
"Whoa, ok, ok, sorry! He's not just a 15 teen-year-old boy!" Davey said, throwing his hands up, "He's Crutchie."  
"Yeah, he's Crutchie, and you betta believe it!" Albert spat, but he shrugged off the boys and sat down.  
"Still, what could possibly happen if you gave the boy, er Crutchie, one measly cookie?" For the second time in as many years, Elmer crossed his chest. Albert buried his face in Specs vest, seemingly hyperventilating, but this was Skittery's time to shine. Being pessimistic and the bearer of bad news was his specialty. "You don't get it, do you?" he said, emerging from his hiding place, "You can never just give him one. Not with those big blue eyes staring up at you, like a puppy about to cry. His lip does this little pouty face thingy, and, if I'm not mistaken, his limp grows ever so slightly more pronounced. and before you know it, you'll have given him your entire stash!" Skittery warned. "Oh, and if that doesn't get you, then you're obviously a heartless monster, and he'll possess every one around you to do his bidding. They'll all turn on you, calling you mean and cruel for depriving the poor boy of his happiness. Then, if they can't convince you, they'll attack, forcing it right out of your hand. But that's not where it ends, oh no. Once he finally gets one in his mouth... BOOM!" This caused quite the chain reaction. Snipeshooter jumped, releasing yet another projectile, this time hitting Boots in the shoulder, who yelped falling backward, his boots slipping right of. Tumble Boy had somehow found another place to tumble from and tumble he did, right onto Romeo's lap. Romeo screamed like a little girl and passed out right there, scaring Tumble Boy away who turned and ran straight into a wall, knocking himself out. Race swore as he dropped his second cigar on Albert's head, who started hyperventilating again. Splasher jumped up and grabbed Boots's boots, filled them water, and splashed them onto both boys.   
"MASS CHAOS!" Skittery yelled, making his point, "The world as we know it in turmoil!"   
"I get it, I get it!" Davey shouted over the chaos, "Keep the cookies away from Crutchie, how hard can that be?"


	2. Cookie Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, tooooo laaaazy! Maybe later XD

"Wow. Just wow." Davey, Les, and Jack were crammed in a skinny closet, about a dozen other boys crowded just outside. All were looking up at the box stowed away on the very top shelf. "You guys take cookie security way too seriously. How did you even find a closet this tall?"  
"That's beside the point," Jack said," what matters is, it's worked so far and far as you-know-who knows, it doesn't exist. We can only hope it'll hold strong if he finds it."  
"When he finds it." Skittery corrected from behind them.  
"Oh come on, even if he finds it-"  
"When!"  
"Be quiet, how is he going to get all the way up there? How are any of you going to get up there?"  
The boys were silent; they obviously hadn't thought of that.  
"You have got to be kidding me." Davey dragged his hand across his face, "Why go through all this if you can't get them down when you want them? I mean, what's the point? Why have them in the first place?"  
"Their uh, for special occasions..." Jack said uncomfortably.  
"What 'special occasions?'" Davey asked skeptically, "Hey, everyone, it's Jack's birthday! Let's all go stare at the cookie jar!"  
"Ok, ok, ok, no need to be insulting! And its a box, a cardboard box, not a jar."  
"Whatever, besides, they've probably expired months ago."  
"Expired? Cookies don't expired!" Snipshooter said, shocked, "What does that even mean?" But before Davey could answer, there was a cry from one of the scouts they'd placed to watch for Crutchie.  
"He's coming! Everybody out!" They all scrambled to get out of the tight space, and the other boys ran off like spooked cats, Tumble Boy slamming into Dutchy who had to drag the boy out by his legs. But Jack, Race, and Davey were too late.  
"Yeah, that's right!" came a squeaky voice down the hall, "An' keep running! Hey Jack, why are they running?" Crutchie came limping up the room, looking concerned, "I don't smell, do I? I swear, I showered only yesterday... oh, hi Davey, Race." No one said a word, the closet door still slightly ajar. "Uh, Jack?"  
"NOTHING!" Crutchie flinched as Jack slammed the closet door hard.  
"Oh, ok," Crutchie said extremely bewildered, "I'll- I'll just take another shower, no biggy-"  
"No!" Jack said suddenly, "You smell great!"  
Davey buried his face in his hands, and Jack looked to Race for help, but he only threw his hands up as though to say, "You're on your own bub." Race sniffed a very confused Crutchie as he walked out. "You could smell like roses for all I care,"  
"You too, Race, you too!" Crutchie called after him, "Why are we talking about how I smell?" he asked, confused.  
"Through your nose," Davey said, shaking his head.  
"Come again?"  
"Through your nose, that's how you smell." said Davey as he left, leaving a slightly panicked Jack behind.  
Crutchie blinked, "Oh, haha, that was supposed to be funny, wasn't it? He was making a joke, right? I'm not missing anything, am I?"  
"Don't listen to em'. You smell like cookies- uh, noogies!" Jack mentally slapped himself.  
"Noogies?"  
"Uh, I meant cuties! You smell like cuties."  
"And we're talking about how I smell, again. What's going on?"  
"Nothing! Nothing at all! Just that you smell wonder..."  
"Jack, you know better than anyone that I don't smell that good."  
"Who says you don't?" Jack said, trying to sound offended.  
"You do, Jack, you do."  
"Whaaaaat?"  
"For heaven's sake, Jack, it's fine, I'll just wash up before dinner-"  
"Great! Thanks! I'll see if Katherin can bake us-uh, make us something, good for dinner?" and with that, Jack scooched out of the room.  
"Geez, you're weird, an' it's not like you have to celebrate me taking a shower! Hey, what are you doing in there?"  
Les slid open the closet door to reveal where he'd been hiding for the past 5 minutes, a sly grin on his face.  
"Say, Crutchie, how 'bout a cookie?"


	3. Cookie Conniving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toooo laaaazy!

"Are, are ya sure this is such a great idea?" Les stood atop Crutchie's bony shoulders, crutch in hand as the other boy stood on one leg at the bottom, grasping onto the ether side of the door frame.  
"What are ya talking about? This is your idea. Of course, it's great!" Crutchie called up.  
"Gah! Quit talking, you're wobbling too much!"  
"Steady," Crutchie grunted.  
"Me? You steady! Dear gosh, you're like a sack of bones! You sure I ain't gonna bruise your shoulders?"  
"Oh, they'll be black and blue by the end of this!" Crutchie said brightly, "Long as ya don't snap my collar bone..."  
"What?!"  
"Whoa, I'm just messing with ya, kiddo! It's been a whole two months since I broke my collar bone."  
"Well, that's a comfort," Les said sarcastically, "Your knee's not gonna give out, is it?"  
"Naw, I appreciate your concern, but I've been hobbling along on this guy for years. The day it gives out will be the day I starve. Which won't be long unless ya snag them goodies!"  
Les reached out with the crutch, and it caught on the cardboard box, "Yes!"  
"Yes, you got it?"  
"Whoa! Hold still! I ain't down yet!"  
"Oh, right, easy does it-"  
"What in-?!" Jack burst in, and Les nearly toppled off Crutchie's shoulders but caught himself just in time, wedging the crutch into the door frame.  
"Jack! How'd you...?" Crutchie caught sight of a long oval faced boy with straight blond hair, just behind Jack, "Snitch!"  
Crutchie's knee gave, and he collapsed, the shelves tumbling down on top of him. He was instantly buried in the cascade of supplies and shelves, Les still dangling from the crutch.  
"Crutchie!" Jack ran to the pile of the ruble and began taring shelves of his friend. "Crutchie, you in there?" he called, shoving supplies away. There was no answer. Fearing Crutchie might've been knocked out, he tore through the rubble, all the while calling his friend's name. But even after a few minutes, there was still no answer. Panic began to work its way toward Jack as he became more and more desperate. How could he have left him alone in here? How had he been so stupid as to think Crutchie wouldn't find the contraband? Jack didn't even realize the other boys had gathered around and were doing there best to help.  
"Calm down, Jack, we'll get him out." Davey was next to jack pushing various objects out of the way.  
"Calm down? Calm down!" Jack said, throat constricting, "How can I calm down, Davey? When Crutchie is at the bottom of a landslide, unconscious?!"  
"It's not a landslide, and even if it was, it's only been a couple minutes. So Crutchie may have bumped his head. He's not dead." Davey said, shaking his head.  
"Not dead? Not dead! What is it with you and 'at least their not dead?'"  
"Jack,"  
"At least no one died!'"  
"Jack!"  
"What is it, Jake?!" Jack spun on the dark-haired boy who'd been shaking his shoulder. Jake pointed to the pile where Jack could just see two arms poking out from the top and, grasping them tightly, hefted his friend out of the pile best he could.  
"Oh, why didn't you just leave me there?" Crutchie groaned, spitting clothes pins. Jack pulled Crutchie into a tight embrace and held him there, half laughing half sobbing.  
"Oof! Watch the ribs!" he panted, "Hey, are ya laughing or crying?"  
Jack didn't let go, "I ain't laughing,"  
"Oh. Hey, hey, it's ok. I'm not hurt, I promise."  
"I just, I thought you'd been crushed!" Jack said, helping Crutchie out of the closet.  
"I didn't survive the refuge only to be defeated by a measly closet colapsion!" Crutchie huffed.  
"That's not a word." Davey pointed out dryly.  
"So what? Hey, how'd you know I was in here?"  
"It's where we left you last," Crutchie raised an eyebrow, "and Snitch may have snitched," Davey admitted.  
"I knew it! where is that little..."  
"It's not his fault, I paid him." Jack said, catching Crutchie's swinging fists.  
"You did what?!"  
"Calm down before you take my eye out! An' you're lucky he tattled, he bout nearly saved your life."  
"He bout nearly killed me! Even worse, he foiled my cookie conniving!" Crutchie cried indignantly.  
"Yeah, well, I hope this puts a stop to your cookie craving." Jack countered.  
"Good one, but no. It'll take a lot more than that to crumble my cookie!"  
"More than a near-death experience?!" Jack exclaimed, "You need help."  
"Oh, stop your bawling! I didn't die!" Crutchie complained, throwing his hands up and hopping to a wall.  
"See!" Davey exclaimed, "No one died!"  
"Oh, shut up! Crutchie, your shoulders!" Crutchie had been leaning on Jack just a moment before. Now that he'd let go and moved to a wall, Jack could see clearly where his shirt had torn, revealing where Crutchie's collar bone and shoulders were already bruising badly.  
"Who's been stepping all over you? There was a kid on your shoulders when I came in, wasn't there?" Jack looked for the delinquent in question, but most boys who'd come to help had already left. Crutchie's heart stopped, he'd completely forgotten about Les! Glancing up, he saw the poor boy holding on for dear life dangling from his crutch, still wedged in the closet.  
"Eh... no one! Nope, it was just me!" Crutchie said hurriedly.  
"What? It can't have just been you! How'd you find out about it? someone had to have told you!"  
"I'm not stupid, I could've figured it out on my own. You wasn't exactly smooth on your cover-up."  
"I don't know what you're talking about..."  
"You said I smelled like cookies, Jack." Crutchie said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall.  
"Beside the point. But what did you think you were doing? Busting your head open?" Jack said, changing the topic.  
"No. Just getting a cookie..."  
Jack shook his head, "All this for a cookie... you nearly died! Was it really worth dying for?"  
"It would've been if I'd gotten one... oh,"  
Les was desperately mouthing for Crutchie to get a move on, and he hurriedly limped over to Jack. "Uh, listen, I admit I could've made, LES of a mess. But maybe if my own BROTHER hadn't kept my very joy in this life, DANGLING in the CLOSET, id be LES DES-PER-RATE!" Crutchie said, nodding franticly to Davey. Davey's eyes widened when he finally caught sight of his brother hanging on for dear life at the top of the closet. He nearly called out, but Crutchie intervened. "But uh, how bout we KEEP QUIET about this, huh? We don't want more trouble; you might even say we want LES trouble. Not that we want LES in trouble." Davey dragged his hand over his face, something he was doing quite often.  
"What?"  
"Uh, Nothing! Say, how bout you invite your girly friend over for dinner. How 'bout that?" Crutchie shoved a perplexed Jack out of the room and turned to the assembled boys. "You're free to go, boys! I'll take it from here."  
"Oh, no, you won't..." Jake said.  
"No, no, I assure you, it's no- hey, hey! Put me down!" but it was too late. Jake and Jojo hefted the struggling boy between them and dragged him flailing from the room.


	4. Just How the Cookie Crumbles

Crutchie lay on the rooftop staring up at the stars, his stomach rumbling even after a delicious meal provided by Jack's new girlfriend/newsie mom, Katherin. "So close," he thought regretfully, "so close, yet so far..." After the boys had so kindly escorted him out of the "cookie zone," they had cleaned up the mess and disposed of the contraband, which they swore "expired" months ago, whatever that meant. Jack had gotten real anxious for him back there, and Crutchie supposed it was nice to know he still cared. Still, he couldn't help feel a little betrayed that his best friend, his brother, would keep such heaven a secret from him! Yet Jack didn't even hesitate to tell Davey about it. Jack had said he'd only told Davey so he could help guard the valuables, and wished he could let Crutchie have just one. But he insisted it wouldn't be wise, saying fancy words like "sugar crash" and "catatonic." Oh, and that darn snitch! Gah, if it weren't for that-  
"Thanks for saving my hide back there."  
Crutchie boosted himself up on one elbow to see Les standing there awkwardly on the fire escape entrance.  
"No problem," Crutchie said, motioning for the kid to join him, "least I could do for my partner in crime."  
Les made his way over and sat next to him cross-legged. "Sorry about, you know, getting you buried in a bunch of cleaning supplies."  
"Not your fault, even if it was, the boys have done worse," he reassured Les.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah."  
"Like what?"  
"Like hiding those cookies in the first place!"  
Les gave a small laugh, "You're crazy!"  
Crutchie looked over, with a small smile, "Maybe."  
"What are ya doing up here anyway? You never struck me as a guy for heights."  
"I'm not," Crutchie said, shrugging, "but Jack drags me up here all the time. So, I 'spose I don't mind."  
"Why?"  
"To look at the stars and dream..."  
"About?"  
"Me or Jack?"  
"Jack."  
"Oh," Crutchie sighed, "Well, he used ta dream about being somewhere other than here."  
"Like Santa Fe?"  
"Yeah, but not anymore. All he dreams about now is turning 18 an' getting married to Miss Katherin."  
"And you?"  
"Huh?"  
"What do you dream about?"  
"Cookies."  
"Wait, really?"  
"No." They were silent for a moment, and Crutchie looked up into the night sky.  
"Lay down, kid," Crutchie said, putting his hands behind his head. "look up there, what do ya see?"  
"Stars."  
"Well, duh, but what do they make? Jack says Davey says, school says, they make cono... conosta... conastollations."  
"Constellations?"  
"Yeah, those."  
"Eh, those are boring."  
"Really, ya think so?"  
"Yep. More fun to make up your own stories, don't you think?"  
"I guess."  
They were silent again, staring up at the night sky, then Les broke the quiet, "Say, where is Jack anyway?"  
"Don't ask me!" Crutchie huffed, "Last I saw, he was dragging me up here saying 'wait here, I'll be right back'. Next thing I know, it's been an hour an' he still ain't back!"  
"Oof."  
"Tell me about it!"  
"Why don't you just get down?"  
"I can't get down without Jack's help." Crutchie explained, "Last time I nearly busted up my other leg!"  
"Oh."  
"But it ain't too bad, Jack used to call this his penthouse in the sky. You can see the stars, feel a breeze, get away from 'the stinking streets of New York!'"  
Les laughed a little at Crutchie's unflattering impersonation of Jack. "Weird."  
"I used ta think he was crazy too!"  
"You don't anymore?"  
Crutchie thought for a moment, "No, I guess not. Maybe there's a method to his madness. Who knows?"  
They were silent once more, and Crutchie settled into the hard grate, seemingly lost in memories.  
"Ya know, I really am sorry we couldn't snag just one cookie." Les sighed.  
"Yeah, me too, me too."  
"No, I'm serious. It was weirdly important to you."  
"You call it weirdly important, I call it life and death!" Crutchie insisted. "But it's ok, I suppose." he sighed, "I guess you could say that's how the cookie crumbles."  
Les fingered the bundle in his pocket, a sly grin on his boyish face, "Or is it..?"

**Author's Note:**

> I am too lazy to write endnotes right now, but I promise their coming ;)


End file.
